Fucking My Lesbian Vampire


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All the while we focus on one couple in the audience who are watching. This is a usual vampire movie trope — the young, beautiful, seemingly hetero couple. We see that the woman is compelled; her subtle eye widening and mouth twitches suggest arousal.

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This is the first subversion of the male gaze. She is the one getting erotic pleasure from this spectacle. The performance is symbolic, period. She appears as a mannequin because she is hypnotized to respond; perhaps we cannot see her going willingly or that would really upset the hetero state of things. She has no choice but to succumb to the succubus. But succumb she does. As does our blonde, watching heroine, Linda. We next learn that Linda has been dreaming about this dancer night after night. She tells this to her therapist.

But she had never seen the dancer in waking life before the night she saw the show. Her therapist dismisses it as sexual frustration and suggests she get herself a lover. Was that therapy in the 70s? Hmmm, actually, maybe they were on to something. No one mentions the bizarre coincidence that her dream woman happened to appear in a strip show Linda got to see, where she seduces a woman on stage.

It is the men who are ignorant, dismissive, unwilling to face what is happening to the woman who is asking for help and support. Fuck me, this could almost be argued to be a feminist film! Guess who that is? And we will find out that the inheritance is bequeathed to the Countess by the estate of Count Dracula; twist!

As she goes to the island to visit the Countess Nadine Carody, Linda sees things that were in her dream:. It seems the dreams were premonitions of this visit.

We will be battered over the head by that bloody symbolic white butterfly and the scorpion. Within seconds of meeting the hot countess convinces her to skinny dip. Well, it would be impolite not to. When they do, they are watched by a man. This is a familiar trope; the lesbian frolic being observed by a man, unseen by them. In this way, it can be argued that this is all for the male gaze, for men to watch, whether the women know it or not. It happens in a similar way in Lust For A Vampire , but in that case it is the controlling male vampire who is watching.

It turns out the watcher here is a minion to the Countess, Morpho.


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But we will learn that Countess Nadine hates men. She gave her neck to Dracula but that was all. She craves women. He can only watch. Here we see the offspring of Diana Dors and Geri Halliwell.

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Or that roles are slippery when it comes to lesbian vampire seduction? She really seems to be gulping it down and pulls away leaving a convincing trail of blood and spit. This woman is at once like Renfield and Lucy in the Dracula story. Oh and she has this weird wooden clown doll thing that looks like a horrific dildo. Nadine tells Morpho about how Dracula made her a vampire and that she then went on to possess and take over women victims. Jeez, I know I have. The sewing circle, perchance?

Linda goes to the clinic doctor for help. Is Linda Jonathan or Meena? Is her boyfriend either or both? No steak through the heart though — she is to be killed by an axe splitting the brain or a spike stabbing it.

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Bloody hell, that stake is sounding pretty damn good right about now, eh? But somehow she manages to leave the gig without being arrested. And the bf just stands there watching and smoking. If she needed blood, why do it publicly? But, hey-ho, we got to see the dance again so I am not complaining.

Nadine turns up at the clinic where the doctor says he actually wants to be a vampire but when she refuses he gets all Latin-god-spouting and so she gets Morpho to kill him. Bf tries to convince her it was all a dream but she knows better. We know better. However, what is unclear to us is the answer to this question: is Linda actually a vampire now? After all she drank from the blood of a vampire before she killed her. Is this supposed to be ambiguous or is it a plot hole? And, you see, I can do this because I am not paralyzed by the male gaze.

I can watch and absorb and identify.


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Part of my sexual formation was watching lesbian vampires. Women on screen who were created to titillate men titillated me instead. And because I have this agency as a viewer, like Linda watching the show, I can watch and get turned on, I can then choose whether to go along with the story or, like Linda, make my own.

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This trippy, porny narrative can actually allow that. And anyway, women are the ones with all the power in this film. First The Countess, to seduce and possess and to evade capture and finally Linda, to choose her own fate. And the power shifts constantly between the women. They have the gaze for each other and we have the gaze for them. The first in an occasional series about Vamps I Love.

These things are FULL of spoilers!

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But please go away and watch them quickly and come back and read it. The stories were also the source material for my favourite vampire films and ones that are hailed as the worst of Hammer by some, the best of Hammer by me , the Tudor Gates penned trilogy Lust For A Vampire, The Vampire Lovers and lesser loved by me because there are less lezzies. I will come to those another time, believe me, darlings. For the record, Sherry was first with his vampires, predating fellow Irish writer Bram Stoker by 26 years. First impressions are that it is very watchable, charming, compelling, haunting and has one of the best sequences in cinema ever.

Lesbian Vampire Killers reassures my faith that at least some scores per year raise the level to a satisfying wonderful height. And it is a woman that reassures us from that. During all the mediocrity, Debbie Wiseman brings us a bombastic and thematic orchestral ride that is easily put, one of the finest of the year so far.

Lesbians may be hot, but Lesbian Vampire Killers is smoking hot.

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